Player Event Da noinft edizion of da Brainbustah!

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A group of goblin runts spent their week sprinting around Eden. Hunched over because of the heavy backpack they were carrying, they’d drop giant stacks of paper on everyone’s doorstep, ranging from the High Elves of Luminion to the tiniest of gnomes who live all around the forests.

Ay yer gitz, pansies, umiez, gobboz n orrukz! Wez retuned wiff anoffah Brainbustah ferr yerr! Da Daily Mag truthin’ ‘n tellin’ all buzinezz!

‘Z been kwoit sum toim sinze wezz lazt informed yerr all of wuzz goin’ on in da worruld o’ Eden! Reazon bein’, dat Yazgash lassie ‘az been ramblin’ on ‘bout teachin uz propah medik shoit ‘n all dat!
But, no worriez! Da Brainbustah ‘s back, az gewd az evah! ‘N wezz ‘ere tah provoid yerr all wiff newz on a zteady baziz 'gain!

It zeems loik derez a lot tah covah diz week, startin wit da ball dem whoite pansies ‘osted. All wuz well, tho dere grog waz pizz poor, an’ az alwayz dey show’d dere bad tazte wen dey decided who won dey’re dressin kompetition.
Klearly de orkz wuz de ‘ottest o’ da lot. Wit Urzul sportin sum traditional orkish cloth’z an’ Haeden deked out inz sum new temporariez markinz, kurtosy o’ Dhote, itz klear ‘ho shulda’ won.
If yew tooz wanna lewk az’ gud az ‘Aeden, out Dhote az’ a pret’y gud ting goin’ wit ‘er tattoos parlor, ‘ere in da gran’ nation o’ Zadh.

‘Owever, dat weren’t da end o’ da celebrationz. Haeden amuzed ‘imself an’ sum o’ da otter party goerz wit arm wreztles, witch, due to da lakluste kompetizion, ‘e won.
‘E waznt da only won tah rain viktorius ovah de matches eitha, when gud ol’ Sugm’a beat anotter zand panzie in an arm wrestle, addin’ to da evah growin liszt o’ viktories.

‘N zoidez dem pansiez bein’ stewpid ‘n not ‘avin propah grog, dem ‘umiez ‘ave been goin’ at ‘et ‘zwell! Seems loik dem fehkahz kant settle on bein’ da sekond moz’ stewpid!
Dey wuzz throwin’ a party ferr sum shoity toiny zity deyz’ openin’, or sumfin loik dat. Sent dah leffahz to everwun, inkludin’ us Orruks!
Wezz went ‘n showed up, kuz derz no propah partyin’ wiffouf da Orrukz, az everywun knowz!

Da gitz at da gate went on ‘bout ‘ow wezz kant read, kuz ‘pparently it wuzz zuppoze tah say us propah Lads wuz’n welkom der. Now, ‘ow fehkin stewpid ‘z dat? Sendin’ an invoit to sumwun yerr not invoitin, spezifikally in dat invoit?
‘Owevah, ‘tis no maffah! When da Ladz got der, sum gitz wuzz stewpid ‘nuff tah challenge Dhote to a bit o’ foightin! Lewked loik a propah match ferr a whoil, but den Dhote got zeriouz. ‘It da fehkah in da ‘ead, ‘n he wuzz out kold straight ‘way! Noze all buzted ‘n bleedin, gitz ‘ad tah be karried off by da rezt of dem puzziez dat wuzz standin’ ‘round!
But da funniezt part ‘az yet tah kome!

Dat same gitz kame runnin’ to da Mount’n sumtoim ‘go, lewkin ferr a rematzh. Inztead of foightin Dhote, ‘ez ended up foightin da Bozz ‘emzelf! Stewpid fehkin dezizion, nay?
‘Kerz it wuz! Bozz knocked ‘em out wiff juz wun punch, ‘n da entoyah arm of dat gitz ended up all broken ‘n fehked, cuz ‘ez a weak toiny lil’ ‘umie aftah all!

'N well, daz all ferr now! 'Ope yerr gitz didn' mizz da newz teww much, but da Brainbustah will be back 'gain nekzt toim! So, fank yerr all ferr readin', 'n remembah tah keep behavin' loik a propah lad!
 
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