UselessCasual
Member
A group of goblin runts spent their week sprinting around Eden. Hunched over because of the heavy backpack they were carrying, they’d drop giant stacks of paper on everyone’s doorstep, ranging from High Elves to the tiny gnomes who live all around the forests.
Ay yer gitz, pansies, umiez, gobboz n orrukz! Wez retuned wiff anoffah Brainbustah ferr yerr! Da Daily Mag truthin’ ‘n tellin’ all buzinezz! ‘Z already da tenf' edizion of da bezt Newzleffah in da whole o’ Eden! Ain’t dat sumfin?
Aye derr wo'evah 'umie, panzie orr ovah kreetchah'z readin' diz zpezial 'dizion'v da Brainbustah. Da ladz daz bin 'ritin' da offah Buztahz bin a lil' unda da wefah, 'oweva! Mez bin azkt'd ta wroite up sum happeninz'v da pazt toim sew lez get on wiff it sew da ancestahz can 'njoy anoffah Brainbustah, aye?
Da Bozz bin mezzin' 'round wiff da aisles down souf'v da Delorwaki Savannah, pazt da temp'l werr da Urneldash shoines brightah den any ol' shoiny cud evah! Da aislez'v bin propahly named by da Big Unz' 'n now dey're nown az da aislez'v Arak'Tur. Da Aislez'r a perfekt plaze fer huntin' sum bushy monstahz, minin' sum propah orez down in da depfz or 'avin' a prayer tew da anceztahz up on da 'cano dat lookz ovah da landz'v uz moighty Orruks 'n da sandy deserts'v da Darakan, da sand panzies.
In offah newz, dem sand panzies'v foinally go'en rid'v derr ol' leadah 'n crown'd a new won. Well ya can't really be callin' it a crown, da fing dey be puttin' on da 'ead'v derr rulah look'd morr laik a zenior woman'z undergarnmentz… Da Bozz 'n ol Sugm'a wuz derr fer da party bu' da Darakan wuz only talkin' rubbish 'bout vowz 'n wo'evah, dey didn' even bring out da grog 'til much latah!
Da Bozz 'n da Big 'Unz 'ad bin workin' ferr a propah dezent taim ta prepare a propah gift fer da crownin'v da Darakan'Ghali, da sand panzie lazz dat became da roolah. Gaerth 'ad gon' ta hunt sum beaztz 'n came back wiff a zplendid lookin' bone'v sum propah mighty beazt, mez zure! Denn 'e continued ta carve da bone 'imzelf into a 'andle ferr a weapon'v which derr wud only be won in all'v Eden. Bu' da bezt 'az yet ta cum! Ta cazt da blade da blacksmiffin' ladz togeffah wiff da bozz uzed da firah breaf'v da drake Esgerath ta melt da zteel! Da blade woz finished 'n prezent'd tew da new panzie roolah' 'n da medik 'ad ta tend tew all'o'da burn woundz aftah Esgerath went wild.
Zpeakin' 'bout da Medik, da lazz' 'n' er 'prentize' ad a lezzon 'bout 'ow te be treatin' dem burnin' woundz. Da lezzon woz tauwt by da 'prentize diz toime 'round. No' many Orrukz came ta learn, bu' da ol' arch-shaman came ta pay a vizit 'n' 'ad a gew at patchin' up a Teronan lazzie, da tree panzie travellah. Da ol' Orruk patch'd up da lazzie noice 'n tidily aftah 'e akzident'ly spill'd a bucket'o'wo'ah on da lazz! Dem ol' bonez 'r ztronk bu' not'z ztready az dey werr back in ds deyz.
Daz all da 'appeninz diz toim 'round, mez be 'opin' ta read da negzt won 'n not wroite it!
Ay yer gitz, pansies, umiez, gobboz n orrukz! Wez retuned wiff anoffah Brainbustah ferr yerr! Da Daily Mag truthin’ ‘n tellin’ all buzinezz! ‘Z already da tenf' edizion of da bezt Newzleffah in da whole o’ Eden! Ain’t dat sumfin?
Aye derr wo'evah 'umie, panzie orr ovah kreetchah'z readin' diz zpezial 'dizion'v da Brainbustah. Da ladz daz bin 'ritin' da offah Buztahz bin a lil' unda da wefah, 'oweva! Mez bin azkt'd ta wroite up sum happeninz'v da pazt toim sew lez get on wiff it sew da ancestahz can 'njoy anoffah Brainbustah, aye?
Da Bozz bin mezzin' 'round wiff da aisles down souf'v da Delorwaki Savannah, pazt da temp'l werr da Urneldash shoines brightah den any ol' shoiny cud evah! Da aislez'v bin propahly named by da Big Unz' 'n now dey're nown az da aislez'v Arak'Tur. Da Aislez'r a perfekt plaze fer huntin' sum bushy monstahz, minin' sum propah orez down in da depfz or 'avin' a prayer tew da anceztahz up on da 'cano dat lookz ovah da landz'v uz moighty Orruks 'n da sandy deserts'v da Darakan, da sand panzies.
In offah newz, dem sand panzies'v foinally go'en rid'v derr ol' leadah 'n crown'd a new won. Well ya can't really be callin' it a crown, da fing dey be puttin' on da 'ead'v derr rulah look'd morr laik a zenior woman'z undergarnmentz… Da Bozz 'n ol Sugm'a wuz derr fer da party bu' da Darakan wuz only talkin' rubbish 'bout vowz 'n wo'evah, dey didn' even bring out da grog 'til much latah!
Da Bozz 'n da Big 'Unz 'ad bin workin' ferr a propah dezent taim ta prepare a propah gift fer da crownin'v da Darakan'Ghali, da sand panzie lazz dat became da roolah. Gaerth 'ad gon' ta hunt sum beaztz 'n came back wiff a zplendid lookin' bone'v sum propah mighty beazt, mez zure! Denn 'e continued ta carve da bone 'imzelf into a 'andle ferr a weapon'v which derr wud only be won in all'v Eden. Bu' da bezt 'az yet ta cum! Ta cazt da blade da blacksmiffin' ladz togeffah wiff da bozz uzed da firah breaf'v da drake Esgerath ta melt da zteel! Da blade woz finished 'n prezent'd tew da new panzie roolah' 'n da medik 'ad ta tend tew all'o'da burn woundz aftah Esgerath went wild.
Zpeakin' 'bout da Medik, da lazz' 'n' er 'prentize' ad a lezzon 'bout 'ow te be treatin' dem burnin' woundz. Da lezzon woz tauwt by da 'prentize diz toime 'round. No' many Orrukz came ta learn, bu' da ol' arch-shaman came ta pay a vizit 'n' 'ad a gew at patchin' up a Teronan lazzie, da tree panzie travellah. Da ol' Orruk patch'd up da lazzie noice 'n tidily aftah 'e akzident'ly spill'd a bucket'o'wo'ah on da lazz! Dem ol' bonez 'r ztronk bu' not'z ztready az dey werr back in ds deyz.
Daz all da 'appeninz diz toim 'round, mez be 'opin' ta read da negzt won 'n not wroite it!