[!] An Orc would pull a cart through the entirety of Eden. Standing on this cart was a tiny little Goblin, who would be throwing dirty-looking papers out. The paper would read as follows: [!]
Aye der, pansies, sand pansies, mud pansies, ‘umiez ‘n alzo dem stinkin’ dwarves.
Dizz da firz’ edition of Da Brainbustah, da Daily Mag truthin’ ‘n tellin’ all buzinezz! So, git yerrself sum propah grog, ‘eat up da foire ‘n get comfy, cuz iz’ toim ferr sum Brain Bustin’!
Lezz start off wiff da moz’ importan’ of newziez! Da Orruks ‘n Gobboz ‘ave started constructin’ da O.R.C., so zoonah or latah da Foulskins gon’ be flyin’ all ovah Eden, wiff spezial fanks to da wun ‘n only Grondolg, kuz ‘ez da Biggest of Thinkahs!
More on diz will follow latah, wunz da Centah ‘az finizhed constructin!
In ovvah newz, it zeemz da ‘umiez iz az stupid as dey’z ztinkin! Sum gitz pizzed off dem pansies. Daz roight. A toiny lil’ ‘umie pizzed off da panziez in dey own shoiny city no lezz! So, surely dey pansiez gun’ go runnin’ to da ‘umiez, kut off sum ‘eadz now!? ‘Leazt, daz wuzz we wudda be doin’ roight ‘bout now if sumwun inzulted our great leader, ye’ know, da greatez’ leadah of all of Eden, Gaerth da Batl’ ‘Ardened!
Now dat wez on da topik of da whoite wuns, wez alzo ‘nounzin da Orrukz zpezial new kwuizine. Ivyld, da toiny gobbo, ‘az kreated a new rezipe ferr ‘taters, and dey iz luvly. Wez went to giv’ da’ pansiez a try, ‘n dey all loved iz!
So, if yerr tryin’ to imprezz a lassie yerr shud come to Modraz Logh, buy sum of da spezial ‘taterz ‘n da lassie will be all yerrz!
‘N well, ‘zidez that not much interestin’ ‘az ‘appened.
Aktually, skrap dat. Dem stinkin’ Dwarves ‘igh up norff in da snowy mountainz’ ‘ave yet anoffah King, but dazz ‘ardly interestin’ wiff ‘ow often dey get a new king. Pluz, ‘ez probably ‘az weak ‘az da offah Kingz dem stinkin’ Dwarves ‘ave ‘ad.
Note: If yerr troin’ to sell yerrr warez or sumfin, yerr kan kontakt da Brainbustah, ‘n ferr a low proice of yus a few shoinies, wez will put yerr inferrmation ‘ere. Iz da beztezt chanze ferr a small ‘n growin buzinezz’ to spread iz name, ‘kuz da Brainbustah iz da biggezt n beztezt of magz in da whole ov’ Eden!
