[This is a creative writing post from Elaine's perspective. Inspired by "Just a Man" from EPIC: The Musical and recent in-character events. Side note, I'm really happy everyone's been diving into their characters with this channel. I take credit >:3. Anyway, don't metagame this information. Thank you, and enjoy!]
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When does the reason become the blame?
"What is that..." A husked tone spoke out. With red hands over the counter, the familiar tiefling stared into her reflection for what seemed like hours. It appeared she had been looking at a new wrinkle in between her eyebrows. The Tiefling Khari'cerr was getting old. It's not as though she minded. But something else seemed to be plaguing her mind.
Elaine's routine was something even she had to get used to. Waking up at the sight of the sun rising and slipping away from her loving husband's arms to quietly tiptoe to another room to vomit the contents of the previous night's Tavern Event. Praying to Kharash no one had heard her. She was slowly adjusting as the months passed by. After her weakened state in the mornings, she would quickly wake up Briette and Adriel, preparing breakfast for them. Lately, she simply refuses to look into anyone's eyes. She gains more confidence as the sun reaches its peak. Once a week, she'll allow herself to go out and visit her citizens. Though not for particularly long. It's always monitored by her. And when she went to bed, it was alone.
Lovell's eyes met her own in the reflection. And as their gazes met, her face cringed immediately. That woman was not her. It was not close to it. Elaine quickly wondered where her bright eyes had gone. That hopeful gleam. A flurry of memories raced through her head. Quickly, she grabbed at her head from the incoming headache that always followed. Her bottom lip quivered.
An arm. A tooth. His head. A tongue. Another head. Another arm, left this time. When did she get all of these corpses under her name? Of people? Of juveniles? Guiding the blind doesn't mean anything when one has lost their way. But unlike the others, she had no room for not knowing.
The woman looked back at her again, seemingly the scrunch going away. Though it was replaced with something else. Pure dread. "No..." The voice spoke out. "No." She repeated, now a bit firmer. "What are you?" She couldn't believe it. Now that it all finally caught up. The guilt, the pain. Her breathing sped up and she backed into the wall to the right of her, leaning onto it. "It's all wrong!" The Khari'cerr called out. "It is, I only did it to protect those dear to me." Elaine slid down the wall with her head in her hands. "Those stories aren't true at all."
Another memory transpired from a recent conversation. How that had hit her deeper than she'd like to admit. Even Elaine forgets that she is not some tale to be told. Not the shivers down one's spine. Though she wasn't her kind moments either. The sharp teeth showed through when she smiled. The roughened and cold hands clasped together when she was pleased. Her small jumps in excitement with scarred legs. What happened to her? Who was she meant to be? And when did she fall off of the path? If those deaths and fights do not define her, what does? All questions that she never could answer herself. Elaine sees herself as the hammer of justice. But it doesn't seem she can find her own.
In her weakened state from the stress that had hit her. She was now on her knees. As small as ever, she heaved. And heaved. The jolts of pain striking through her body couldn't stop, either. Her fingers trembled from her realization. They gripped the floor, her head dropped to stare into its engravings. Tears streamed down her cheeks for only a moment before they finally hit the wood. The heaves quickly mixed with the hiccups of trying to catch her breath. Her wailing continued and echoed off of the walls of the bathroom.
"I-I- don't... I don't want..." She heaved again. Elaine shut her eyes tightly, sweat becoming evident as it wiped away any of her paint. "I don't want to die. Please. I'm too young." Though Elaine knew her fate. She and only she knew the truth. So, what could she do? Elaine cried on the floor, begging whatever pain she had running through her body to stop. And she promised herself to not be those stories told, but to be the light to the hope. The light at the end of the neverending cave.
┗━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━┛
┏━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━┓
When does the reason become the blame?
"What is that..." A husked tone spoke out. With red hands over the counter, the familiar tiefling stared into her reflection for what seemed like hours. It appeared she had been looking at a new wrinkle in between her eyebrows. The Tiefling Khari'cerr was getting old. It's not as though she minded. But something else seemed to be plaguing her mind.
Elaine's routine was something even she had to get used to. Waking up at the sight of the sun rising and slipping away from her loving husband's arms to quietly tiptoe to another room to vomit the contents of the previous night's Tavern Event. Praying to Kharash no one had heard her. She was slowly adjusting as the months passed by. After her weakened state in the mornings, she would quickly wake up Briette and Adriel, preparing breakfast for them. Lately, she simply refuses to look into anyone's eyes. She gains more confidence as the sun reaches its peak. Once a week, she'll allow herself to go out and visit her citizens. Though not for particularly long. It's always monitored by her. And when she went to bed, it was alone.
Lovell's eyes met her own in the reflection. And as their gazes met, her face cringed immediately. That woman was not her. It was not close to it. Elaine quickly wondered where her bright eyes had gone. That hopeful gleam. A flurry of memories raced through her head. Quickly, she grabbed at her head from the incoming headache that always followed. Her bottom lip quivered.
An arm. A tooth. His head. A tongue. Another head. Another arm, left this time. When did she get all of these corpses under her name? Of people? Of juveniles? Guiding the blind doesn't mean anything when one has lost their way. But unlike the others, she had no room for not knowing.
The woman looked back at her again, seemingly the scrunch going away. Though it was replaced with something else. Pure dread. "No..." The voice spoke out. "No." She repeated, now a bit firmer. "What are you?" She couldn't believe it. Now that it all finally caught up. The guilt, the pain. Her breathing sped up and she backed into the wall to the right of her, leaning onto it. "It's all wrong!" The Khari'cerr called out. "It is, I only did it to protect those dear to me." Elaine slid down the wall with her head in her hands. "Those stories aren't true at all."
Another memory transpired from a recent conversation. How that had hit her deeper than she'd like to admit. Even Elaine forgets that she is not some tale to be told. Not the shivers down one's spine. Though she wasn't her kind moments either. The sharp teeth showed through when she smiled. The roughened and cold hands clasped together when she was pleased. Her small jumps in excitement with scarred legs. What happened to her? Who was she meant to be? And when did she fall off of the path? If those deaths and fights do not define her, what does? All questions that she never could answer herself. Elaine sees herself as the hammer of justice. But it doesn't seem she can find her own.
In her weakened state from the stress that had hit her. She was now on her knees. As small as ever, she heaved. And heaved. The jolts of pain striking through her body couldn't stop, either. Her fingers trembled from her realization. They gripped the floor, her head dropped to stare into its engravings. Tears streamed down her cheeks for only a moment before they finally hit the wood. The heaves quickly mixed with the hiccups of trying to catch her breath. Her wailing continued and echoed off of the walls of the bathroom.
"I-I- don't... I don't want..." She heaved again. Elaine shut her eyes tightly, sweat becoming evident as it wiped away any of her paint. "I don't want to die. Please. I'm too young." Though Elaine knew her fate. She and only she knew the truth. So, what could she do? Elaine cried on the floor, begging whatever pain she had running through her body to stop. And she promised herself to not be those stories told, but to be the light to the hope. The light at the end of the neverending cave.
┗━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━┛
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